Positive vs Negative

Not just on your fitness journey but in life in general it can be hard to see the positive in some aspects, sometimes the negativity in those aspects are so strong it is hard to see that there is any positive at all. But lets try to keep this along the fitness route.

Lets say you are new to your fitness journey, you have started by making subtle manageable changes, Upping your daily steps and limiting sugary foods for example. You have taken your average daily steps from an office workers 3-4000 steps per day to a nice 8000 steps per day, adding in an extra few mile just by walking the 10 min walk to work, taking the dog out an extra time per day or even going for a walk around he estate in the evenings. Along with this you have cut down on your 2 cans of coke per day to one every couple of days and your diet was already reasonably good so with these changes you are now in a calorie deficit with is manageable and losing maybe 1lbs a week… But Margaret from next door has been on her fitness journey a few years now, made some good changes and tells you what you are doing is a load of rubbish and you should join her club every Tuesday and Thursday evening because it is better. She tells you what you are doing is not going to help you make changes and is a load of rubbish.

Maybe you have started at the gym going 3 times a week, you are enjoying your new ‘YOU’ time and making healthy changes, both physically & mentally but because your mother sees this as time away from the kids, she constantly puts you down for ‘not spending enough time with them' making you feel guilty about doing something positive.

Or maybe you have started counting your calories, tracking it in my fitness pal, making sure you are in a deficit, but Sandra who does one of these weight loss clubs sees this as too much hard work so tells you it is a load of rubbish and that you have ate/drank too many sins today.

There is so many more examples that I could ramble on about, but they all have the same principle. Other people passing on negative comments about your positive changes because it doesn’t suit them. The vast majority of the time these people have no experience in the fitness industry, they may have got good results from one certain way, but they are naïve in thinking that because it worked for them it will work for everyone. They have no concept of people differences, likes, daily routines etc. In a lot a lot of cases their negativity can listened to but not have an effect on the individual, but in too many cases I have seen the impact has resulted in others giving up on their goal before they actually let it take shape.

Every one of them examples above I have seen with my own eyes and based on real situations (just names changed) and I am sad to say that everyone of them resulted in the person either giving up because they were constantly being put down or the individual being influenced to take on another route, that of their friend/family that has resulted in them not enjoying it or fitting in with their routine and eventually gave up and ended up at square one.

So what can you do to resolve this…? There are a couple of different options…

1) Cut all the negativity out of your life. Yes this would work, but realistically is that possible, I see a lot of memes saying about negative people and cutting them out, if you can do that and it works for you then great, but 99.9% of the time people cannot do that, and a fair amount of that negative percentage come from close friends/family anyway.

2) Continue what you are doing. If you continue to do what you are doing you are always going to be open to the criticism you are already receiving, and in some cases this may increase. But you can use that criticism to drive you on, prove them wrong. Unless you have decided to start training/walking/running by yourself chances are the group, gym, bootcamp you attend will be full of like minded people, people who are in the same boat, they wont tell you but I can guarantee you that many of them will also be receiving the same criticism in their life. Bounce of those who have the same goal as you, enjoy the same things as you, the support from these groups is unreal, I personally ensure I instil it at all my sessions, everyone is on a different journey, but everyone has something in common… they all have a goal, support each other on their goals and you will receive support back, and the best thing is it comes naturally without being forced or any effort being put in… and that is because it is genuine.

Both options 1 & 2 will work… and it all depends on what type of person you are to what option you take… but by taking option 1 or 2 and not by listening to the negativity, I guarantee the positives that come from that will be rewarding & satisfying, and when you make positive changes in your health and fitness you also make positive changes in your general day to day life. Confidence increases, a healthy lifestyle leads to a better quality of life, better sleep, better mood, longer life… so when someone is moaning you don’t spend enough time with the kids, even though you are with them 80% of the day, tell them that the 80% of a positive day is better than a 100% of a tired, depressed, lack of motivation day. Or when Sandra tells you that you have gone over your sins for the day tell her that you are happy with your nutritious and healthy calorie deficit choice. Bounce of their naivety, negativity and use it to fund your positivity. It is your life, do what you enjoy, love, can stick to and reap your own results… at the end of the day they are your results and no one elses.

Use negative experience to enhance your positive experience

Business owners... Ive been seeing a lot of this lately and thought I would finish adding it to the end… does it fit in this blog? Im not sure… but I see it as negativity so that is why I am adding it in.

Some people do not come into your life to love and support you, they come into your life to use you, they do not come to add to your life, they come to take from it, they don’t see you as a person they see you as an opportunity. They do not love you for you, they love you for what they can take from you.

What do I mean by this statement then…? So called friends, family & work colleagues, they see the hard work you put in with your business, whatever it may be, and the first question they ask is ‘Mates rates?’ or even worse ask you for your service and turn up and take it for free. Remember you are not a charity, this is your livelihood, your career. Would they allow you to take from their weekly wage for nothing in return? Because that is what they are doing, using your time which could be used elsewhere to better yourself and make a living and expecting to take up your services for FREE… ball because they are your mate, family or work colleague.

We all like to be generous from time to time, give away free things, give discounts to people etc, but you need to remember that if you do so it is your choice, they may have helped you in other ways, been there for you, supported you and in return you have gave something to them, you may have a natural mutual unwritten agreement and that is perfectly fine. But when friends expect things for free or discounted based on the only fact that is they are your friends then you need to start questioning it… if they were real friends they would see this for what it is, your job, your ability to pay bills, feed kids etc and be more than happy to pay for the service that ‘THEY’ want, because if it come down to it and shit hit the fan and you can no longer do it as your job as it doesn’t pay the bills, then they will have to go elsewhere and pay for it anyway…

That is my little rant over.

I will finish by saying that negativity can seem stronger than positivity at times, this is because there is so much negativity out there in comparison to positivity. Positivity comes from those who share the same passion, drive and likes, that will be a limited number of people within your life, the rest will doubt and somewhat shed negativity even if they do not mean to… but its important to see what matters and that is your initial goals and desires… focus on that and you wont go far wrong… even if someone was right and your initial plan didn’t work, see the positive… you have tried and eliminated one option, now move onto the next with the same positive attitude.